Crash
by 1Blue25
Summary: Driven by desperation, Edward pays Bella a late-night visit, despite the necessity of staying away from her for both their benefit. AU-AH. O/S written for the Love Through Lemons contest.


Entry for the Love Through Lemons contest hosted by tby789 and LolaShoes

Title: Crash

Pen Name: 1Blue25

Pairing: Edward/Bella

To see all the entries, please visit:

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Disclaimer: I do not own Twilight.

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I ached to cradle her face gently in my hands, wanting to wipe away the tears that had slipped out at my sudden appearance.

"Edward," she whispered, her own hands hanging limply at her side. "You shouldn't be here."

"I can't stay away from you," I said, focusing solely on her brown eyes. The traffic on the busy street raced past us, but neither of us noticed. "It doesn't bother me if her lackeys see us together. We've already waited too long."

Her hand darted forward and wrapped around one of mine. She tugged on it and we both watched as she turned it palm up and traced the grooves with her fingertip. I sighed at the contact. We'd never touched before.

In a flash, she'd flipped my hand over and traced the pale skin where my wedding ring used to reside. Five long years I'd suffered with Tanya. Our divorce had long been in the making. Made even longer by my accident and slow recovery. After my eleventh hour declaration, Bella had been forced to watch Tanya nurse me back to health and act the part of the wife she'd never really been. I'd wanted Bella to perform all the tasks that Tanya had done. And I had known that Bella had wanted to do them as well. Now, my divorce was almost final. I knew that Bella and I were both being watched, but I ached with my need for her. Not just for her body, but for her soul.

"Ask me upstairs," I said as I pushed her brown hair back off her face. She'd cut it short after the accident, some sort of declaration of her mourning. It had grown back some in the past six months, after I'd risen from the dead and she'd discovered that my whispered confession hadn't been so spontaneous after all. I missed the lengthy locks that I used to watch from afar. They would sway across her shoulders and down her back as she walked through the halls of our office. I'd always wondered if they would be silky soft against my body. I hoped that this would be the night that I would find out.

Bella glanced up towards her 23rd floor apartment. I'd never been inside her building before, let alone on this block. We'd been very careful to keep our distance since I'd served Tanya with the papers. Neither of us wanted the accompanying scandal at work. It was difficult enough that the three of us worked together. Ever since my return to work five months ago, Tanya had watched us as if we were her job instead of the advertising firm we all worked for. Bella had taken to working from home twice a week just to escape some of the tension. I hadn't blamed her, though I missed her terribly. We could call and text one another all day, but it was a poor substitute for being in her presence. Smelling her skin. Watching her eyes. Fantasizing about the ways that we would join our bodies.

My erection strained against my jeans, but I was used to the discomfort. I'd wanted Bella for a long time, well before the phone call that had changed both our lives. Had I known that I would survive the plane crash that had killed 95% of the passengers on board, leaving me and ten others as the sole survivors, I might not have called Bella and made my confessions to her. I still would have served Tanya with the divorce papers though. Our marriage had been dead for a long time.

I was desperate for Bella now. Her lips, her eyes, her hands, her skin: I'd fantasized about it all, a hundred times over. I would continue to do so if she turned me away this night. For I knew that as soon as I was a free man, her arms would be wide open and I would make her mine that night. The hard part was the waiting. It was going to be at least another three months and I couldn't stay away from her completely. I would continue to beg for her attentions, hoping that she would take pity on me.

She gnawed her pretty bottom lip as she pondered my request. I wanted to lean forward and gnaw it for her, but I couldn't. Wouldn't out here on the street anyway. After what was possibly hours, she released my hands. "We have to be careful," Bella said with admonishment in her eyes. My hopes wilted as I realized I was being turned down. I started to step back, away from temptation, but her next words cut straight through me. "Circle the block and then let yourself in. The guard will have a key for you. I'll be back in fifteen minutes."

She darted away, her brown coat billowing behind her in the cold night air. I stared after her, not believing what she'd just said. Did she…were we…was I…? A man pushed past, knocking me out of the middle of the sidewalk where I'd been staring dumbly after Bella. I jumped into action, anxious to complete my part of the pretense. She wanted it to seem as if we had parted ways. Sneaking back undetected would take some work, but I was filled with purpose. I would examine every alley and cut-through on Bella's block until I found one that would lead me back unnoticed.

I hurried down the street, pulling the lapels of my overcoat closer against the wind that had begun to howl. Chicago in the early spring was not the most pleasant of places to be. Winter hung on, its iron claws digging and scratching at the earth as spring tried its best to wedge it loose. I avoided the frozen puddles that hid in the cracks of the sidewalk beneath my feet as I trudged forward, my eyes peeled for a way back.

I turned the corner and found myself on the opposite side of the block from Bella's building. Its gothic spires stood out amongst the steel and glass buildings that had been built around it in more recent times. Fortuitously, a narrow alley appeared and by the looks of it, led to the dumpsters at the back of her building. I glanced behind me, but saw no one following. I sprinted down the alley, glad that my scars were healed enough to take the physical exertion I was inflicting upon myself. I dodged behind a large, blue bin at the end and forced my back against the fence. Through the narrow space between the fence and the bin, I watched a few brave souls hurry down the street I'd just come from. None seemed interested in the alley I'd disappeared down. I breathed a sigh of relief that I'd not been followed. This cloak and dagger routine was exciting, but something more enticing awaited me. I needed to be ready for her.

I wound my way through the trash and recycling bins before discovering a side door to Bella's building. I happily rang the bell and waited for the guard to come let me in. Appropriately, he was a large man, and he eyed me menacingly. "You don't live here," he informed me. I hoped to change that fact in the near future. About three months down the road.

"I'm visiting someone – Bella Swan. I'm Edward Cullen. She said to give you my name and you'd let me in."

The guard stepped back and allowed me entrance. He handed me a small gold key and I mumbled my thanks. I hurried past him and towards the elevators I could see at the end of the hall. "Guests use the front door," he called after me. "I won't let you in the side again."

I nodded as I entered the elevator. I would have to find some other way to sneak into her building in the future. Perhaps she could get me an access key to the garage underneath the building. We would work something out, because this would not be a one time experience. Once the memory of her in my arms and against my body had been seared to my brain, there would be no going back. We both knew it.

On the 23rd floor, I let myself into her apartment. She'd left a light on next to the door and its pale glow touched almost every corner of her small living room. The view of the building across the street wasn't ideal, but that wasn't why I was there. My attention wasn't drawn to the worn furniture or the faded prints on the wall. What I noticed was her lingering scent that hung in the air. The fresh flowers sitting in a vase on the coffee table. The same flowers I'd handed her two days before on her way out of the cab we'd shared after work. I noticed the Andrew Bacevich book that sat on the sofa, the same one I'd recommended a few weeks ago but she'd insisted was too serious for her.

Moving towards the fireplace on the opposite wall, I spotted the object that stood out the most in the room, for it spoke the loudest. It was a photo of the two of us, taken at last year's Christmas party. Tanya had conveniently not attended, leaving Bella and me to our own amusements. We'd spent the entire evening deep in conversation. It was then that we'd both realized how similar we were. Our penchants for music, books, family, movies – they'd all been so congruent. I'd wanted to dance with her, but had neither the courage nor the freedom to do so. We'd sat instead, both of us tapping our feet in tune to the song, trying hard not to stare at one another.

I didn't hear Bella come in, but I sensed her presence the moment she entered the apartment. "I had to beg Angela for a copy of that," she said, crossing the room quietly to join me. We stared at the picture and all that it represented, wishing that things could have been different from the beginning. My hand found hers in the quiet of the room and I linked my fingers through hers.

"Bella, we don't have to do anything. We can sit and talk, or listen to music. I just want to spend time with you." I was giving her an out, but it was a poor excuse for one. She knew the wants of my body. We'd already spent countless hours talking and learning about each other. There was only one reason for me to be there, but I had to give her one more chance to shut me down. I would sit on her couch and pretend to be patient as we discussed an upcoming project, or the latest Spielberg movie we both wanted to see, or her family's recent visit. I would go home and funnel my wants into my dream world where I was free to touch and be touched in return. I wanted more than that now, but what I wanted above all else was for Bella to be happy.

She wetted her lips and turned to me, bringing our linked fingers to her hip. Her coat was gone, exposing the slim black skirt and red blouse she'd worn to work that day. The silk of her skirt slipped beneath our fingers and I strained closer, wanting to learn more about the texture of her body.

"Dance with me," she said, finding my other hand and grasping it tight in hers. We began to sway together in the silence, me awkwardly, she a vision of gracefulness. She began to hum a tune and I nearly crumpled to her feet. It was the same song that had played the night of the Christmas party. The one I'd wanted to dance to with her but couldn't.

I pulled her soft curves against my body and nestled my nose into her hair. "You remembered," I said as we swayed in time to our song.

"I remember everything about that night. Your tie was crooked and you kept fiddling with it to make it straight. You spilled the chicken down your shirt and made it worse by wiping it with your napkin." She sighed as I began to nuzzle her ear. "You told me that you wanted to move to New York so you could try your hand at editing novels instead of managing the print media department. That your parents are your role models and that you'd been watching me every day for the past two months and that I needed to eat something besides salad for lunch."

She pulled back just as I was preparing to touch my lips to her skin for the first time. We stared at one another, and I saw my confusion and uncertainty reflected right back at me. "This is dangerous, Edward. But I don't want to live without you any longer. My life is incomplete without you."

I pulled her small body to mine and wrapped my arms around her. My life, as well, had been a desperate half-life for so long, that ignoring it had become second nature. With Bella in my arms, willing and ready, I wouldn't be able to ignore it any longer.

This time when I moved to cradle her face in my hands, there was no fear or doubt. No need to worry about being caught or not doing something improper. I leaned my mouth down to hers, and for the first time in my thirty years, I kept my eyes open as I touched my lips to a woman's. Brown met my green. Soft lips met my firm ones. Bella sighed and I slanted my head to align our mouths differently. She pulled and I pushed. She sucked and I nipped. We took our time, but our eyes never shut. Neither of us wanted to miss this moment that had taken so long to arrive.

In the end, it was she who darted her tongue out, opening my lips. It was she who deepened and teased. It was she who dug her hands into my hair as if she were afraid that I would disappear as if I were an apparition. And still we never looked away.

My hands roamed her back, dipping lower after each pass. I finally gave into temptation and slid my hand firmly along the curve of her backside. Bella whimpered into my mouth and I smiled in satisfaction. She tugged on my tie and broke our lips apart, walking backwards down a dark hall. I followed her siren call, incapable to stop her and unbothered to where she led me. All that mattered was staying with her, next to her, touching her.

She opened a door at the end of the hall and pulled me into the dark room. The door clicked shut behind us, and all I heard were the sounds of our uneven breaths. Her hands slid up my tie and tugged it loose, and then began unbuttoning my shirt. My hands stilled hers against my chest. "I want to see you," I said, groping the wall behind me for a light switch. Hers found it quicker and a harsh light intruded upon us, making us both take a step back. She quickly shut it off again and we descended once more into darkness.

"Wait here," she said, her quiet steps on the carpet leading away from me. Within moments, she had pulled open the blinds on her window allowing the lights from the city to invade upon our space. This light was not as bright and lent interesting shadows to the room, the bed, and Bella's face.

I quickly joined her next to the window and resumed our previous activities, joyous that I had the freedom to take and give as we both wanted. We slowly began undressing each other, our hands lingering against the other's buttons as we revealed what lay beneath.

Her skin was silky smooth under my fingers. The swell of her breast led to the lace of her bra. I pushed aside the halves of her blouse and cupped her in my hands. My thumbs unerringly found her nipples, already puckered from our slow and drawn-out foreplay. Honestly, it was as if the entire past year had been foreplay for this moment. She moaned when I leaned down to lap and nip at the exposed skin of her chest. Her essence in my mouth was a forbidden fruit. Her own hands had long given up on my shirt and instead were plunged into my thick hair. I nibbled my way down the soft curves of her chest until I reached her bra. I tried to move it out of my way with my nose and tongue, but was completely unsuccessful. With a sigh, I pulled my face out of her cleavage and pushed the cups out of the way with my hands. The straps slid down her arms and hung loosely at her elbows, but my eyes were trained entirely on the exposed flesh before me.

Her skin was even paler there, tipped with rosy perfection. Her breasts heaved with each breath she took, an offering to my mouth with each inhale. I couldn't say no when she asked so nicely. One look at her face convinced me that I was doing the right thing as well. My head descended towards her nipple and I encased it inside my mouth. I pulled on it, sucking it in and her back arched as she tried to get closer to my warmth. I sucked again, trying to drag her very essence out of her body, and her body bowed even harder. I wrapped my arm around her waist for support and attacked her breast with a fervor I'd never known I possessed. The firmness of the bud was a succulent piece of Bella-flavored candy in my mouth. I traced and pulled, sucked and bit until she was restless in my arms.

"Edward, please, I need more," she keened.

I couldn't deny her. We'd waited too long. Our bodies were desperate to come together. I released her nipple with a pop, eyeing the faint red marks on her skin from my beard with pride. I quickly finished undressing her, tossing the clothes out of the way until she was fully exposed to my gaze. Her skin was flawless from head to toe. She seemed to glow from within and it only added to her appeal.

Her hands shed my clothes with the same fevered attention until at last we both stood naked together. I took my time, stroking her body with my eyes, planning the path that my hands and mouth would take. Bella did the same. Her gaze lingered on my groin, and I stood a little taller at the attention. Without any warning, her hand darted out and wrapped around my erection. Her fingers smoothed the hardened flesh and teased the head. I rocked into her hand a bit, a pitiful mimic of my plans for her body.

I moaned loudly as she began to pull on my dick, driving me towards a quick release. I gently removed her hand and placed my lips upon her palm. I wanted to come in her body, not her hand.

"Turn around," I said, having a sudden desire to see all of her. She turned slowly, putting on a show for me, but I stopped her when I found the curve of her back. I was suddenly inspired.

I stepped closer until I was flush with the smooth skin of her back. Pushing her hair out of the way, I mouthed the arch of her neck down to the shadowy hollow of her shoulder. Each graze and nibble sent shivers down her spine and increased the ache in my balls. Her hands slipped back and found purchase on my thighs. Her nails scraped against my skin as I swept across her shoulder blade.

My mouth found her spine at the same moment my hands found her breasts. I pinned her back to my mouth with them, keeping her prisoner while I lavished attention upon her body. I made my way down the knobs of her spine as I kneaded the soft flesh in my hands. Bella's head lulled forward as she gave herself up to me. Tiny moans escaped her lips, and I gently arched my hips forward until they met the curve of her ass. My dick slid along the crease of her cheeks and she whimpered loudly at the contact.

I stood to my full height and strained even closer to the woman that I held. My skin met hers, rubbing feverishly at every point of contact. She called my name and I called hers. Our touches became more desperate, greedier, and I began to walk us forward, towards the large bed in front of us.

We stopped at the end and I pushed down lightly on her back. "Is this alright?" I asked, concerned that she wouldn't understand the reasoning behind the position in which I wanted to take her. I shouldn't have worried. She immediately crawled onto the bed on her hand and knees, stopping directly in the middle. Her ass stuck up in the air and she rested her head on her hands, turning to the side so she could watch me.

My nostrils flared at her supplicant pose. I wanted her in this position not because I wanted to exert any authority over her, but because I needed to show her all the things I wished I had the right to do for her now. I crawled onto the bed behind her, taking my dick in my hand when I was in position. Using my other hand, I angled her hips so she could take me in. Bella lay before me, waiting for everything that I would give her.

"Are you ready?" I asked, wanting solely to prepare her for what was to come.

"Yes," she moaned, the vibrations from it resonating through the stiff length I held in my hand.

I pushed forward, running the head along her slit, making sure that her body was just as ready to take me in. She was completely saturated and before I knew it, I had slipped inside her body as if a magnet had pulled me in. I halted my forward movement, wanting to take this first time slowly. I breathed through my nose, begging my body to calm down, but it wasn't to be. With a groan I pushed all the way inside her wet heat until I couldn't go any further.

Underneath me, Bella whimpered and pushed her hips back, taking me in even further. Her body pulsed around me, thick and swollen with her arousal. It was almost as if I could pulse of her blood against my dick. As I began to pump in and out, I showed her everything that I had.

I flattened my chest along the curve of her back, tucking her in close beneath me. Her head twisted around and I leaned down to take her mouth with mine. I wanted to protect her. I wanted to comfort her.

My hips pounded into her hers, joining our bodies as intimately as possible. Our sexes mating in a primal rhythm that had been foreign to me before I discovered Bella's warmth. I wanted to claim her and make her mine.

My hands slid up her body, over the outer curve of her breasts, and pulled her arms out from underneath her head. She flattened out on the bed and our lips broke contact. I moved her arms above her head and linked our hands together as my hips sped up and we neared completion. I wanted to merge our bodies, minds and souls until we became one. I never wanted to part from her and would lay my life down for her.

Our groans and pants filled the air. Her mattress squeaked faintly beneath us and a familiar tightening began in my balls and traveled up my spine. "Bella," I called, asking, begging her to join me.

She called my name as she came, echoing off the walls back at us. Her body tightened around my dick and I exploded inside of her as my orgasm ripped up my body, trying to splinter me into tiny pieces. I pulsed inside of her until I was dry and then I slipped off her body and rolled to her side. Bella crawled on top of me, somehow finding the strength to pull me close. My body was spent. I had given her all of me. I fell asleep with her hair tickling my nose and her breath blowing softly across my chest.

When I woke, the sun had just begun to rise on the horizon. My Bella was wrapped in my arms, right where she belonged. I must have made a noise, because her eyes blinked open, surprise etched across her face when she saw me.

"You're still here," she whispered, pulling me closer.

My mouth grazed the top of her head and I drew tiny circles on the soft skin of her shoulder. "No more hiding," I said, revealing the decision that had come to me in my sleep. "It doesn't matter what happens in court or at work anymore. All that matters is being with you." I could survive any trials thrown my way so long as I had Bella at my side. "I want my own key."

With a sleepy smile, she nodded her agreement, and we went back to sleep, wrapped around each other, exactly where we belonged.

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Thank you for reading! Please review!

Much love and thanks to my beta Blackdogs.


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